保持痛苦
生而为人，就该去追求一些愉悦的体验：吃到一道美食、听到一首好歌、闻到一阵芳香、遇到一个美女、邂逅一个帅哥、做一场美梦、欣赏一幅名画、刷到一个段子、收到一声赞美、赢得一项奖励、赚到一笔钞票、考上理想的学校、收获一场表白、买到梦寐以求的包包、踏上向往已久的国度……
生活中充满了各种各样的小确幸。每一个愉悦的瞬间，都会带来正向反馈，让我们分泌多巴胺，感受到快乐。于是我们觉得，这才是幸福的人生、有意义的活法，忍不住一次次地感叹生命的美好。
但有一个可恶的机制会阻止我们不断从中获得快乐——那就是阈值。当某件能带来正反馈的事情变得唾手可得、反复出现时，我们的大脑就不再为之分泌多巴胺。第一次刷到一个段子你会笑，但当这个段子重复几十次出现时，你早已失去了笑的欲望。所以说，抖音的算法其实并不是顺应人性的，而是反人性的——它必须不断给你新的刺激，才能勉强延续那点点的快感。
经常听人调侃：某某现在赚钱像呼吸一样简单。但请相信我，那个“赚钱像呼吸”的人，很可能正处在人生最痛苦的阶段。（Ber……你快带我去救他于水深火热之中
有些人就容易在这个阶段停滞不前：他们沉溺于曾经带来小确幸的事物，不断重复，试图重温最初的愉悦，但终究再也体会不到快乐了。于是开始为自己找借口，逃避现实，从此陷入痛苦的深渊，在平庸中缓慢死去。
其实，除了愉悦，痛苦也能刺激多巴胺的分泌。听起来像抖M，但这是真的。那些坚持身材管理的人，正是通过不断的痛苦来换取愉悦的成果；而那些选择放弃的胖子，则是在每一次的小确幸中，一步步走向更深的痛苦。
哪些事情是痛苦的？凡是你获得正反馈之前必须先承受的，都是痛苦的：学习、工作、思考、总结、输出、运动……这些都是反人性的，但它们最终都会带来愉悦的结果。
哪些事情是愉悦的？凡是在负反馈到来之前让你沉醉其中的，都是愉悦的：吃喝玩乐，顺应人性，却几乎注定通向痛苦的结局。
所以说，人生的规律是什么？痛苦是常态，愉悦只是短暂的瞬间。
何谓自信，就是你在经历长期痛苦之后，获得了一个愉悦的瞬间，然后你再次主动选择走进痛苦之中——因为你知道，那个愉悦的瞬间还会再来。所谓失去了自信的人，本质上是选择停留在愉悦之后的阈值之下，最终跌入了痛苦的深渊。
那么，人活着的意义到底是什么？
我的答案是：保持痛苦。
Stay in pain
To be born human is to chase pleasure — Tasting a delicious dish, hearing a beautiful song, catching a whiff of fragrance, meeting a gorgeous woman, bumping into a handsome guy, having a sweet dream, admiring a masterpiece, stumbling upon a funny video, receiving a compliment, winning a reward, earning a load of cash, getting into a top school, receiving a heartfelt confession, buying that dream bag, landing in a long-awaited country…
Life is full of these little joys. Each moment of pleasure gives us a dose of dopamine, makes us feel good, and convinces us that this is what happiness means. So we chase after these sparks, again and again, marveling at how wonderful life can be.
But there’s a cruel mechanism that stops us from feeling this joy over and over again — threshold. Once something that gave us positive feedback becomes easy and repetitive, our brains stop producing dopamine for it. The first time you see a hilarious meme, you laugh. The fiftieth time, you don’t even blink. That’s why TikTok’s algorithm isn’t aligned with human nature — it fights it. It has to constantly feed you new stuff to barely keep the dopamine trickling in.
You often hear people joke: “That guy makes money as easily as breathing.”Trust me — that guy is probably going through the most painful stage of his life.(Ber, please, take me with you and save him from the flames
Many people get stuck right there: they keep repeating things that once brought joy, desperately trying to relive that initial thrill. But the joy is gone. They start making excuses for themselves, hiding from reality, and slowly sink into a quiet kind of despair — mediocrity, followed by emotional death.
But here’s the thing — it’s not just pleasure that triggers dopamine. Pain does, too. Sounds masochistic, but it’s true. Those who stay fit and disciplined extract joy from pain — day after day. On the flip side, those who give up — the ones drowning in tiny pleasures — end up with pain as their final reward.
So what counts as pain? Anything that comes before the positive feedback. Learning. Working. Thinking. Reflecting. Creating. Moving your damn body. All of it goes against human nature — but all of it leads somewhere meaningful.
And what’s pleasure? Anything that comes before negative feedback. Eating. Drinking. Gaming. Scrolling. Effortless fun. They feel good now — and almost always lead straight into pain.
So here’s the deal: Pain is the default. Pleasure is a fleeting visitor.
And what is confidence? It’s the moment of joy you earn after long-term pain — And then, your willingness to go back into the pain, because you know the joy will come again. Those who’ve “lost confidence” are simply the ones who stopped moving after the dopamine dried up — and fell into the abyss of empty comfort.
So, what’s the meaning of life?
My answer: Stay in pain.
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